YOU'RE WINNER
by InvisiblePlumber
Summary: Bowser's latest plan results in unlikely alliances and Kamek reflecting on his life.
1. Kamek's Life

It was a clear, sunny, perfect day. Mario lay in the grass, looked up at the clouds, and sighed. He was a good guy, but he didn't like this kind of day. He knew on clear days, a magic rain cloud would appear, and Peach would get kidnapped by Bowser again. And there was the rain cloud. By now, Peach was kidnapped. There was no surprise to it anymore. Maybe he would find a new mushroom, or meet a new Goomba variety, but his "adventures" were almost always the same: stomp Koopas, KO Bowser, rescue Peach. Mario headed off, bored and completely unaware of what new trick the Koopa King had up his sleeve.

Kamek flew in to Bowser Castle with the precious and mystical artifact his master demanded he find. He loved Bowser, raised him as his own, but knew in his heart how horribly evil he and his master were. Long ago, the Koopa Kingdom was a peaceful land, and Kamek was learning to be a great and wise sorcerer, until Prince Bowser came along. Left and right, new, evil policies were being implemented, and Kamek was caught in a tiring series of difficult tasks. Still, he loved his king, as a parent loves their child no matter what. Bowser screamed, "Well, fool, WHERE'S THAT MAGIC THINGY!?" Kamek patiently replied, "Right here, Sir!" Bowser, clutching the object, felt it's mass power. He knew the feeling, the feeling of incredible strength. He had felt it as far back as he could remember, as well as when he touched the Sticker Comet. Now filled with an incomprehensible evil, he gloated, "Yes! Now we can send Mario to any world we want!" Kamek knew of the object's high unstableness, but didn't stop his master. Instead, he handed Bowser a disc. "Kekeke! And I found the perfect place to send him to! It is pure torture for anybody to be in this environment!" But despite his laughing, Kamek felt remorse. He felt horrible for helping Bowser do so much...hurt. As he thought things through, Bowser slowly read the text printed on the disc's label.  
"Big Rigs... Over the Road Racing". The buggiest- and worst-game ever.


	2. Installing

After quickly clearing World 1 (After all, it's the easiest area), Mario took camp just beyond the castle for the night. So far, everything was the same. Mario didn't like it at all. Just before he went to sleep, he looked up and whispered, maybe to the stars, maybe to himself, "I wish my life had some more variety." Considering how many times he had rescued Peach, he felt the wish was a fair one, and it would work out well for him. Boy, was he wrong.

Kamek woke up early. Not because he planned to, or was restless, but because at 4:00 AM, Bowser went up to his bedside, prepared himself, then bellowed, "**WAKE UP, USELESS MINION!**" Kamek was slightly irritated by this, for he was old and needed rest, but forgave Bowser. As he changed from his night robe to his regular robe, Peach, also waking up from Bowser's massive shouts, came up with an idea.  
Kamek went with Bowser to use the artifact. He asked, "Your grouchiness, are you sure about this?" Bowser became furious, but calmed down and lectured, "You're being rebellious, minion, but I'll chalk that up to waking up at a good hour for once. You get used to it." Then, as he mumbled something about geezers, Kamek cast his spell and got Mario- and himself- stuck in _Big Rigs_.


	3. Mama Mia

The next morning, Mario woke up in a strange field. As he woke up, he moved around, and gray spots flashed around a green and white field. "Where am I?" he wondered. "Oh well. I guess this is my excitement." As he walked around, he saw a racetrack and Kamek. "Oh! This must be a new Mario Kart! I'm ready to take you on, Kamek!" He then hopped into a vacant truck, but it wouldn't move, and he fell right through it! "What kind of Kart is this? Did you cheat, Kamek?" Kamek, sighing, explained, "Yes, but I didn't fiddle around with the truck. I changed our location." He then explained their plight. "Since there isn't magic here, I can't use mine. It's like radio." Mario hesitantly replied, "I guess we'll have to work together, then." And with that, they set off.

They soon came across a bridge. They walked a bit, then fell through! Mario, a bit scraped up from the incident, exclaimed, "Mama Mia! This place is worse than the Minus World!" Kamek laughed, and, being mad at this, Mario ran from him. And here's the funny part. He didn't slow down.

Mario was going a promenade-like 2,000 MPH and was in an empty gray zone when Kamek stopped him. He exclaimed, "We can just run out of this world!" And they did. Until they got to 2,400 MPH.

Bowser heard a beep on the artifact. He turned around, and saw this:  
"Big Rigs experienced an error. The program and all visitors cannot be opened at the moment."  
Bowser, unaware of Kamek being in the game, gloated and held a big party with all his minions. When Kamek didn't show up, Bowser realized his most loyal minion was gone forever.


	4. Only One

Bowser turned to Peach for help. "Please use your Wish Power to save Kamek! You better, or else! I'm begging you, I'll do-" Peach cut him off, calmly replying, "I would have tried to anyways, but I can only make it so ONE person is in there at a time, so there's a 50-50 chance I rescue your friend." Annoyed by a common misconception Peach had fallen for, he replied, "Sweetie, he's my minion, not my friend."

Peach made her wish, and Bowser prayed to see Kamek, but only saw Mario. Peach was shouting with glee, and Mario was jumping up and down, so only Bowser heard a faint cry call, "Help! Your Chubbiness! Princess Peach! Anyone!" Then, Bowser saw the first star of the night. He made a wish, and disappeared.

Meanwhile, Kamek was frozen solid. The crash was a major one, and he was stuck in a running position forever. Then, he saw Bowser form. With all his wisdom, Kamek knew the sacrifice Bowser had just made. As he faded back into Bowser Castle, he mouthed his thanks to Bowser. He could tell Bowser was thanking him, too.


End file.
